taking a dump.

[nobber]

this is actually quite a serious subject that has not been covered yet , not that ive seen anyways.
personally i just find the best view i can a go for it but ms nobber wont , point blank refuses.
we have considered tent toilets , chemical toilets , even uncle boogers bumper dumper http://www.bumperdumper.com/ but none of these seem like a practical solution.
any ideas?

we did find this though which seems a good idea.

http://www.shewee.com/

[sniff my diff]

we did find this though which seems a good idea.

http://www.shewee.com/

Now this does seem like a good idea.

I reckon if you get enough suction on it and hold your thumb over the end you would get quite a powerfull jet once you release your thumb;):eek:

[nobber]

i think there is a long hose attachment to go with it.:eek:

[Swingletree]

Now this does seem like a good idea.

I reckon if you get enough suction on it and hold your thumb over the end you would get quite a powerfull jet once you release your thumb;):eek:

:confused: Eh? :confused: why in the world would you want to suck it? :confused: Why?

As for outdoors toiletry, I simply wander of with my spade over my shoulder, its obvious where your going (so you shouldn't get followed) and you've got your spade for;
a) The obvious
b) holding onto for balance
c) Hanging the baby wipes from
d) Poking away any inquisitive wildlife, (works better than a spoon Nobber ;))

[sniff my diff]

i think there is a long hose attachment to go with it.:eek:

You can water your hanging baskets with this attatchment then?:eek:

[sniff my diff]

:confused: Eh? :confused: why in the world would you want to suck it? :confused: Why?

)

Its called a sheewee because it goes over a ladies front bottom,push it in place to get an air tight fit(suction) wee away with your thumb held over the end ,build up of pressure ,let go and whooosh a amazing jet :eek::eek:

[adafish]

ladies front bottom,........i love that phrase:D:D:D

[bvudzichena]

this is actually quite a serious subject

Another very serious subject that people tend to shy away from is nuptuals in a rooftop tent :D

I had a go at making a bumper dumper some time back when I make the receivers, but found it would take some serious reinforcing to get the thing to actually work. The extra weight in the truck wasn't worth the convenience of having a dump in a (non biodegradable) plastic bag so I decided to stay with the tried and tested system of dig a hole and bury it.

[Marc Lurie]

A serious matter indeed. :D

When it comes to peeing, I'm quite happy to walk off into the bush (not in Mozambique or Angola though), find a bush and water it. Trouble is, Brigid has a small bladder and often needs a pee while we're on the road, no bush in sight. She's devised a great solution. We pull over, open both pasenger side doors, and she sits against the side sill and no-one can see her from front or back of the Landy.

When you're on Kii there's no time to be squeamish, in fact you're encouraged/advised to watch each other pee because you can see if your partners are becomming dehydrated and you can warn them. You get very disoriented at altitude, and you often can't feel that you're dehydrated until someone tells you. It's so cold up on the mountain that you pee in a bottle in your tent and empty it in the morning. (attached pic shows my friend Michelle testing a pee funnel before our trip.)

As far as taking a dump in the bush is concerned, I'm not too perturbed as long as I have privacy :o. Most campsites that I've stayed in have some form of ablution facilities, but they can be spartan to say the least. I'm with swingletree on this one. Spade, bog roll, bottle of water, soap.

[conkers]

I still have nightmares of the situation in Kolwezi, In a guest house in town, there were toilets but they were either blocked or the power was off so the water pump didn't work so no flushing, either way the toilets were out of use and being in a town it wasn't the done thing to dig a hole in the garden. So nobber give her a spade and some bog roll and tell her there are less fortunate people in Africa and she should be grateful!:D

[bvudzichena]

I usually keep one of these (http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/product/standard-item.jsp?id=0020025516435a&navCount=0&podId=0020025&parentId=cat20893&masterpathid=&navAction=jump&cmCat=netcon&catalogCode=XH&rid=&parentType=index&indexId=cat20893&hasJS=true) under the driver's seat with a roll of TP, a bottle of water, hand cleaner, barrier cream and some used T shirts that are great for use as towels or oil rags. The T shirts also stop stuff rolling around in the seatbox.

There are Chinese versions of the spade on eblag (http://shop.ebay.co.uk/?_from=R40&_npmv=3&_trksid=m38&_nkw=folding+spade) that'll probably dig a hole as well as the Gerber or the Glock.

[Marc Lurie]

The sign in the Lubumbashi airport bathroom slays me. For those who don't read French, it says: "Man or Monkey - Your choice"

[Cannonball Bob]

I thought man is a monkey deep down?
As with many aspects of living outdoors with limited facilities, the one-man shovel patrol is another fine example of where the easiest, quickest and most appropriate method is to go a bit native and make like a caveman:

Dig hole (ideally at least a foot deep),
Squat,
Think of England and ponder Life, The Universe and Everything,
Stand up,
Admire handiwork (optional)
Fill in hole.All these tent-bound compact vacuum fitted chemical fuelled Tupperware boxes are trying to force an indoor domestic solution on a non-domestic outdoor environment and it never, ever works entirely satisfactorily. I can think of nothing worse than hauling a box of sh!t around on an exped. Just stop for a momnet and imagine the scene (and smell) if you roll over or someone crashes in to you.
The best long term solution is to try and shift Mrs Nobber's mind set about the whole thing and get her to realise that making like a bear is what man has been doing for millions of years.

[Marc Lurie]

Admire handiwork (optional)

PMSL

You left out one crucial step though: wipe ;)

Of course, if you're in Mozambique and you've been eating the peri-peri prawns, you might want to store the toilet paper in the Engel :D

[Cannonball Bob]

I did read somewhere that it's instinctive to give one's poo the once over, as a quick subconcious health self-assessment. No, really.

[toppa]

I did read somewhere that it's instinctive to give one's poo the once over, as a quick subconcious health self-assessment. No, really.


SO if someone catchs you , poking it with a stick rolling it around, breaking it open to see any hidden contents, that is a natural curiosity :rolleyes:



Cheers

[Cannonball Bob]

Disection, prodding and a taste-test aren't neccesary Toppa, just a cursory glance will do.:rolleyes:

[bvudzichena]

Just stop for a momnet and imagine the scene (and smell) if you roll over or someone crashes in to you.


Here's one for the Saffas: Dan spat die kak!

Sorry Bob, but the punch line gets lost in translation.

[bahamarover]

don't know if its ant help but i know west marine do a toilet seat that clips to the top of a five gallon pail,poly bag liner in pail...job done!!!!........no pun intended!.......keith

[Swingletree]

Of course if you really want to bring a bit of excitement to the hole (sic) affair, you could always enter the "Groundlay olympics".
The rules are,

a) The "lay" must be observed in order to discourage cheating.
b) The "lay" must be completed in one movement (of the bowel)

Prizes are awarded for girth and length of "lay".

In order to achieve maximum length and for ease of measurement, competitors may shuffle forwards as the "lay" is being made. This will stretch the "lay" along the ground.

The current record holder is a gentleman who made a "lay" of some 32 credit cards (long side) in length somewhere on Salisbury plain.

Enjoy:D

[Imvubu]

During a trip to Swaziland last year, several members of our group ended up with food-poisoning. Our convoy could easily be followed by tracking the little mounds of earth etc. (when a temporary lull in the urgency had allowed time for a hole to be dug) across the country...and yes we were careful not to risk contaminating water sources etc. (the locals were doing a fine job of that themselves).:eek:

[Carl]

Some lite reading (http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-****-Woods-Environmentally-Approach/dp/0898156270/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211368053&sr=8-1) while squatting over the thunder hole.

[Marc Lurie]

Disection, prodding and a taste-test aren't neccesary

Unless you're Bear Grylls...... or Jeffrey Dhama :D

[Marc Lurie]

More nice reading...

[bahamarover]

Of course if you really want to bring a bit of excitement to the hole (sic) affair, you could always enter the "Groundlay olympics".
The rules are,

a) The "lay" must be observed in order to discourage cheating.
b) The "lay" must be completed in one movement (of the bowel)

Prizes are awarded for girth and length of "lay".

In order to achieve maximum length and for ease of measurement, competitors may shuffle forwards as the "lay" is being made. This will stretch the "lay" along the ground.

The current record holder is a gentleman who made a "lay" of some 32 credit cards (long side) in length somewhere on Salisbury plain.

Enjoy:D

i think that was beat by a POW during ww2 when he was "wormed" and two other POW's chaired him forward to assist the complete exit of a V long tapeworm........keith

[dreaming]

we just finished a eight month trip around southern africa with a brand spanking new port a loo still wrapped in its plastic and box not used. we bought it after an experience at the Mozambique border on a previous trip. wont decribe the "crappy" situation for my wife that time but we decided to buy a port a loo and chemicals for this trip. we also invested in one of the best pieces of equipment we bought (my wifes idea) a folding toilet chair with that piece of canvas with a hole in the middle, you know what for. all of you out there and your mates and their mates will find this the best. when you get to spots that offer the hole in the floor method just put your chair over. in the bush you can park off forever and not get cramp squating.
enjoy your next "CR^P"

[baz]

In Henry Viii time and presumably many previous generations one of the highest offices in the land was something like 'Master of the Stools'. This person pronounced daily on the Kings health from examination of his effluent as other medical means were not available. Perforce this person was intimately involved with the King and potential influence made him all powerfull.

[redhand]

Richard 111 was allegedly assasinated by some one who hid in the cesspit below the royal crapper and impaled him on a longsword.

[Marc Lurie]

Richard 111 was allegedly assasinated by some one who hid in the cesspit below the royal crapper and impaled him on a longsword.

No THAT'S a pain in the ar$e :D

[redhand]

Just found this while looking for a ham radio. http://www.spservices.co.uk/product_info.php/cPath/260/products_id/3161 Isn't Google great???

[toppa]

just remember to take a suitable amount of swipe aswell.......

Cheers

[Swingletree]

just remember to take a suitable amount of swipe aswell.......

Cheers

Oh yeah, EWBS, Don't leave home without it!

[Cannonball Bob]

when you get to spots that offer the hole in the floor method just put your chair over. in the bush you can park off forever and not get cramp squating.
enjoy your next "CR^P"
Yeah but the ape-like squat method is actually better for you in terms of straightening all the gubbins down below so you get more errr....movement.
All this sitting up right in a prim and proper dining table stance may be the polite way of doing it but it's not actually that healthy.

[bvudzichena]

Maybe this will be more to Mrs Nobber's liking?

[screwy]

The Americans have another solution...the bumper dumper.....

http://www.bumperdumper.com/

[bvudzichena]

The Americans have another solution...the bumper dumper.....

http://www.bumperdumper.com/

That brings back such fond memories.

http://www.landrovernet.com/forum/showpost.php?p=929944&postcount=2

[Marc Lurie]

Don't let Mrs. Nobber see these. It'll scare her off camping for ever. :D


















The shot of Brigid is mine. Anthony took the pic of his wife, not me. ;)

[sniff my diff]

Marc i would love to have a shower in the open ,as in the second photo.

What a way to start your day:D

My boss would wonder why i was so awake:confused:

[Marc Lurie]

Marc i would love to have a shower in the open ,as in the second photo.

Then join us when we do our next Forum Members trip :) You're more than welcome. :)

[Nick Boy]

Another thing to bear in mind, if you are in the right sort of place and time, as I was last year, is are people likely to come across your toilet and find it 'interesting'?

If you are on a beach where turtles lay eggs, it is likely that conservationists will come around in the morning looking for turtles eggs to move them to safe locations away from poachers. The way to spot these nests is to look for freshly disturbed sand piles.

As I trotted back contendedly with the shovel in one hand, bog roll in the other, it occurred to me that in the morning, some poor conservationist was likely to have a very nasty surprise in that particular 'nest'!


Nick

[dreaming]

Another thing to bear in mind, if you are in the right sort of place and time, as I was last year, is are people likely to come across your toilet and find it 'interesting'?

If you are on a beach where turtles lay eggs, it is likely that conservationists will come around in the morning looking for turtles eggs to move them to safe locations away from poachers. The way to spot these nests is to look for freshly disturbed sand piles.

As I trotted back contendedly with the shovel in one hand, bog roll in the other, it occurred to me that in the morning, some poor conservationist was likely to have a very nasty surprise in that particular 'nest'!


Nick


if i ever land in one i know who to call. must be around Bunganek area.
I will stay clear.

[nitwit 66]

use a spade. dig a hole. do the biz. burn the potty paper.fill the hole

[sniff my diff]

B.O.B

[little-miss]

:D wow! a whole thread on dumping, well as a fairly new member of off roading i too found it hard to do my buissness whilst out and about but after 4 chilly hours in a very bumpy landy you have to give in to nature and if you havent got the ground cover it gets a little difficult its not to bad for you guys you got it easy :D so if theres no cover i just have to go to the last landy and pee behind it:rolleyes: i also find those little grass huts where people go clay pigieon shooting come in handy for doing a number 2:D though i have been thinking of bringing with me if we have enough room a wind brake at least that would give some privacy cause im fed up of being caught out by passing ramberlers and there inquisertive dogs :D

[Marc Lurie]

Little-miss, Brigid has devised a cunning plan for taking a pee on the roadside on long African trips.

She opens both doors on the sidewalk side of the truck, and "sits" on the edge of the door sill between the two doors.

That way, no-one sees her at all, regardless of which direction they are approaching. The only person who knows she's peeing is me. And if you can't watch someone taking a pee after being together for 22 years, then I just don't know... :)

[Marc Lurie]

i also find those little grass huts where people go clay pigieon shooting come in handy for doing a number 2:D

So that's what I got on my wellies at the last shoot :eek:

[little-miss]

oopps!:Der i dont have a five door landy, though might think about putting a potty under the passenger seat:biggrin:

[toppa]

Where we used to go deer shooting in NZ, there was a lond drop, it was on the edge of the cliff, about 100 ft cliff, you sat there with the most amazing veiw out across the valley :)



Cheers

[educationalist]

The only thing Google comes up with is the WEE-kender (http://www.wee-kender.com/)not sure it counts though. :D
Still
Still a WEE trailer would look good attached to the Landy for lavatorial purposes while away on camp.

http://www.wee-kender.com/ (http://www.wee-kender.com/)

[Marc Lurie]

Try this excellent SA invention: http://www.shewee.co.za (http://www.shewee.co.za)

It was invented by a South AFrican woman who got sick and tired of waiting in the line for the ladies loo at rugby matches. She just walks straight into the men's loos, and uses a urinal. :D

[se7enup]

Off on a bit of a tangent to the original post but this (http://www.thebrowncorporation.com/) has to be one of the best outdoor environmentaly friendls tiolets going:cool:

[sniff my diff]

Thats a good idea,but what if it collapsed under you while you sat and squeezed one out,hose me down please i am now covered in ....

[little-miss]

:biggrin: ohh great so as well as picking up after the dogs i have to pick up after the husband as well :rolleyes: seems a good idea i suppose you burry the poo bags not take them in the landy cause that could be quite wiffy:biggrin:

[Madoobri]

Should have called this `The Turdologist Thread` :flushed:

[saltireblue]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a loo
Humpty Dumpty did a big poo





who wants to write the 'tur*' line??


Mark!! Are you there???

[redhand]

Try this excellent SA invention: http://www.shewee.co.za (http://www.shewee.co.za)

It was invented by a South AFrican woman who got sick and tired of waiting in the line for the ladies loo at rugby matches. She just walks straight into the men's loos, and uses a urinal. :D

Great idea just 2 questions
1/ why is been modelled by a bloke??:confused:

2/ why aren't there any pics of the device in use :biggrin: :biggrin: :o:o

[littlerangie]

Great idea just 2 questions
1/ why is been modelled by a bloke??:confused:




It was invented by a South AFrican woman .... rugby matches.

that's "Susan"


2/ why aren't there any pics of the device in use :biggrin: :biggrin: :o:o

i'm not even going to go there...............:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Calum

[sniff my diff]

2/ why aren't there any pics of the device in use :biggrin: :biggrin: :o:o


Not sure if i would want to see one in use myself:biggrin:.

Mark

[little-miss]

:rolleyes: well even the simplist of things need explaining to some:D

[redhand]

It could be the start of a new olympic sport. Precision Peeing:Bigbounce

[Marc Lurie]

Winter Olympics too. :p

Write the longest sentence in the snow etc. :biggrin:

[little-miss]

:D well i think its only fair then that ladys are allowed to take part by using the shee wee :D

[redhand]

:D well i think its only fair then that ladys are allowed to take part by using the shee wee :D

That's what we're on about..:rolleyes: :p :D

[jtpalmer]

NOW COME ON PEOPLE STOP CHATTING **** !! :linehop:

[Marc Lurie]

:D well i think its only fair then that ladys are allowed to take part by using the shee wee :D

Finally. A sport that men and women can participate in equally. :biggrin:

[saltireblue]

And, at long, long last we men could complain about the female of the species leaving the toilet seat up:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[Marc Lurie]

Yeah, what's that all about? What's the big deal about the toilet seat?

I lift it up so that I don't pee on it. Women should be grateful for that. How many times have I been into a public loo and seen pee spots on the seat? :( It's revolting.

And what is so blooming hard about lowering the seat if it just happens to be up?

Fortunately this isn't an issue in our house. :) It's the only reason I stay with Brigid. :biggrin:

[little-miss]

i dont moan at my hubby about that or the toothpaste or the fact he treads mud through the house or the fact that he washes his hands in my washing up water thats still got stuff in it!!:D

[redhand]

i dont moan at my hubby about that or the toothpaste or the fact he treads mud through the house or the fact that he washes his hands in my washing up water thats still got stuff in it!!:D


Well why would anyone?? They're all perfectly normal thing to do, aren't they? :rolleyes:

[Marc Lurie]

or the fact that he washes his hands in my washing up water thats still got stuff in it!!:D

NO! EUUUUGHHHHH!!!!! That's just not right!!!!! :ill:

[sniff my diff]

NO! EUUUUGHHHHH!!!!! That's just not right!!!!! :ill:


Why not ?? EP90 mixed with ya cups n saucers is normal aint it??;):biggrin::biggrin:

Mark